The First PhD Review ...

I made the decision to take on board the critical feedback. Reviews are something you can easily ignore as a performer or writer but I chose to not ignore them here and I think that I benefited. I think I'm stronger for it - and I have a tougher skin as a result. 

~Rufus Wainwright~

I can’t believe that I have been here six months!?! Has so much time passed already? Well the passing of six months means that I had my first PhD review.

Preparing for the review

You can imagine that leading up to the review, most of the first year PhD students were in a little bit of a panic; there were so many questions floating around. Who takes part in the first review? Is it only your two supervisors? What do you have to do? Do you need a slideshow? How long does it last? What do you really think is going to happen? The overriding feelings seemed to be fear of the unknown and worry that we hadn’t done enough for the review.  Now I think I am making assumptions as that may have just been how I felt… lol

Several of us consulted with second year PhD students who had been through all of this already, and they kept reiterating that we shouldn’t worry, it’ll be fine, your supervisors do not expect you to have completed the PhD at this stage; they just want to know what you have completed and they understand that it can change as you progress through the PhD.  Being uncertain at this stage is normal.

So I prepared a slideshow, typed up what I wanted to say to accompany the slides and practiced several times to make sure that I was comfortable with my material. That certainly did not prevent my stomach from hurting before the session was scheduled to begin, but it did make me feel prepared. I also prepared some questions that I had burning in my mind about my research.

During the review

Well, first, everyone but me was late. My second supervisor appeared to have forgotten that we were even supposed to have the session and my first supervisor got caught in a conference call. So you can imagine that my stomach was hurting worse by now and none of the false bravado that dressing up gave me (I decided to wear a skirt and a nice red top) was helping to settle my nerves. I went through the slideshow, forgot one or two things but I made it through and waited for the questions and suggestions.

I think the overriding point that was made is that I need to be more focused, be a lot more certain of exactly what it is that I am examining and want to discover through my research. Interestingly, this has been playing on my mind a lot recently.  I have been having an overwhelming feeling of reading without focus, which has been frustrating, upsetting and confusing all at the same time.

After the review

Well it’s done and over! Everyone that I spoke to seemed to have had a good session, gotten good feedback and was just pleased that they didn’t have to worry about it anymore. For me, the review put back in my mind how important obtaining this qualification is to me. It also demonstrated to me that I have to get a little stronger backbone, and be more ready to deal with any questions that come my way when it comes to my work.