Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
~ Thomas Merton~
What else am I doing to try to achieve balance? Well to be
honest, writing this blog is one way that I am. I maintain this blog partially
because it allows me to stay in contact with some people, and more because it
allows me to share my experiences and how I feel for others to have a laugh at
or think on and not feel so alone in their own fights. But singing and writing
are only two aspects of balance for me.
What I also need for balance is to make connections with
people – new and old. I need to make connections with persons so that I have
someone(s) who I can share with, chat with, listen to, learn from or that will
just be there the days that either of us needs it. Now I have not lost all of
my home connections; thank goodness for Skype, Whatsapp, Facebook etc. I can
still chat with my family or the girls and all the other people who I have
known for what feels like forever, but connecting sometimes requires more than
chatting on Skype or Whatsapp.
Connecting sometimes means that you need to be able to reach
out and touch someone, be it a handshake or hug or just to see someone smile in
person. Know what I mean?
When I first came here even that wasn’t too easy, as I was
alone in an office more often than not since my office mate was not usually in.
However, we have recently moved to a temporary building and I am definitely
making connections now as I am currently sharing a room with 4 more female PhD
candidates in room 3.09.
OMG Room 3.09!!! Now I know the first thought when some of you
think of 5 women sharing a room is … too much oestrogen and mood swings in one room
and it must definitely be somewhere to avoid, but it doesn’t feel that way to
me. I am growing to really appreciate each of these women individually and
definitely as a group. We are at varying stages in the PhD progress, from
different backgrounds and with totally different experiences and interests
which makes for an amazing combination of personalities and definitely a lot of
chatting when we are all in (which doesn’t happen too often – unfortunately).
Don’t get the impression that we do not get any work done, considering the
stages we are at in our academic careers, we can all put our heads down and
work very well without too much chatter but there are those few days that very
little gets done.
With such different personalities and backgrounds, sometimes
simple sentences need explanation as the terms, slang or words that someone
uses may be unfamiliar to someone else in the group. My vocabulary and
knowledge expands daily. More than the expanding knowledge though, I appreciate
the constant support I receive from each of these women - I really hope that I
am equally supportive to each of them when they need it.
My first mate from this group, Amy, who I met early in the
programme because we completed Research Methods together, has such a warm smile
and easy going personality that I think I bend her ear too often. Celebrity
Ashleigh (so named for her looks and research) is in her second year of the
programme and is always willing to share with us all that she has experienced
so far and to allow us to learn from her whether it be her experience with
tutoring, writing, reviews or clubbing. Stephanie, who flits in and out of the
office as is necessary for her work, the baby of the group in age only, hides
her strength of character and no-nonsense attitude behind beautiful curls and
easy smiles. The insane one of the group, Anthea, is a delightful addition
who is very serious about her work and has very high expectations and standards
for the students she tutors, but makes me shake my head often at her antics and
love of the ridiculous.
Put us all together and we have an insanity ladder in the
room with each of our names. Now, the names are on post it note sheets and as
everyone does something mildly insane or sane they are moved up and down the
ladder. We also have a whiteboard where we write the quote of the day. More
than that the fun things though, we are slowly connecting with each other,
learning each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, and interests, and generally
holding each other up through this arduous process. Just having someone listen
to the emails you write or the layout of your chapter or to practice your
presentations with and provide constructive feedback is invaluable.
They definitely provide me with some balance!
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